jammespotter:

Since it is the birthday of the biggest nerd to ever exist, here are 56 facts to represent 56 years since the birth of our favorite stag 

1. he has so much nervous energy, he constantly is shaking his leg during class or flipping his quill through his fingers 
2. every photograph of him from before age 11 has his hair slicked to the side (thanks to copious amounts of Sleekeazy) and to this day just the scent of his fathers potion makes him gag
3. in fourth year he decided that he looked better without glasses and for two months walked around hogwarts essentially blind. sirius was his guide. 
4. in fourth year james broke his ankle tripping down stairs. 
5. james refuses to say that not wearing glasses and breaking his ankle were related in anyway whatsoever 
6. he constantly cracks his knuckles. 
7. when james was young, he made a friend with a muggle child at the park. he really, really wanted them to go to hogwarts together so he kept on trying to teach them magic 
8. it didn’t succeed and on the day before james left for hogwarts he went to the park and said goodbye 
9. he cried for hours after
10. he snores like a freight-train 
11. his handwriting is incredibly messy, in part because his hand cant keep up with his mind, but mainly because he thinks his sloppy handwriting looks cool 
12. he tucks his hand into his fists when he punches 
13. bc of this he’s broken his thumbs more times than he can count so hes gotten really good at basic healing spells 
14. but his thumbs still look a bit wonky regardless 
15. he has random freckles on his collarbone, left knee and on the back of both of his hands
16. each year he thinks of a new ‘cool’ catchphrase that he thinks will 100% catch on 
17. it literally never does 
18. the summer before 6th year he and sirius constantly hung around near muggle shops to learn about muggle fashion 
19. sirius wanted to piss of his family, james wanted to impress lily 
20. he had a lisp up until he was ten. he had a hard time with his ‘th’ sounds. 
21. in fifth year he announced he wasn’t going to cut his hair until either…
22. A. the gryffindors lost a quidditch match 
23. or B. they won the house cup 
24. the gryffindors never lost a match, and so his hair ended up resembling that of a lions mane (he liked to pretend he was a real-life mascot for the team instead of a 15 year old with wild, ungroomed hair) 
25. when they won the house cup it was sirius who cut it off
26. which was a bad decision bc sirius was drunk and delirious (both from winning and from getting a bludger to the head) 
27. it ended up with james having fifty more cowlicks than he already had and patches of hair altogether missing from his scalp 
28. he, of course, wore this haircut with pride bc it meant that gryffindor had won the bloody cup 
29. he lowkey slept with his stuffed lion until he was 13 
30. even then he always had him under his bed up until harry was born, he then passed down the raggedy old thing to him 
31. he doesnt trust horses tbh their eyes are too human-like for him to feel comfortable around them 
32. he has a small gap between his two front teeth. you cant notice it from far away, but up close you can tell he definitely has one 
33. sirius and james pretty much shared a bed the first three years at hogwarts. sirius had really bad night terrors, and james had always wanted a younger brother to protect so it worked out well 
34. he proposed to lily after a battle. they had lost ten people in under two hours. he didnt have a ring, but it didnt matter 
35. the next day he “properly” proposed in their flat (it was really james’ and sirius’ flat but lily essentially lived there now). he gave her his mother’s engagement ring. he transfigured the diamond to take the shape of a lily
36. in second year sirius bet that james couldnt live off of a diet of strictly chocolate frogs. 
37. james took the challenge but ended up in the hospital wing a month and a half later with scurvy 
38. from second year on he would always consciously change the pitch of his voice whenever he knew lily was in ear shot 
39. it was only in the beginning of 7th year when she got drunk in the head common room with him did his tone accidentally slip back to normal 
40. this is also the night he had his first kiss with lily, because she realized what he had been doing all this time and how ridiculous it was and how ridiculous he was and how ridiculously in love she was with him. 
41. james would always throw the invisibility cloak over himself in the ultimate game of peek-a-boo with harry 
42. it was great until harry started to become mobile and pull the cloak over himself, ending up in a four hour search for an infant who had fallen asleep under a sheet of invisibility 
43. his shoes are ALWAYS untied 
44. when he starts talking about something he feels passionately about, his voice automatically gets louder and louder until he either finishes his point or his throat goes hoarse 
45. james’ first word was “uh-oh” 
46. he is obsessed with qudditch. he would have practices at night because he thought other teams would spy on them and practices would last 6 hours or more. like he honestly made oliver wood look like a casual fan 
47. before 6th year he and sirius got tattoos. 
48. james got antlers smack dab in the middle of his back, while sirius got dog prints leading down his lower back 
49. they were both 10000% sober and not at all drunk nope not at all 
50. they didnt realize they actually had tattoos until a few days later when they were practicing quidditch in the potter’s backyard. they had both taken off their shirts to bc it was august and hot and ‘oh my god, padfoot you’ve got a tramp stamp’
51. james was really short up until the summer before fourth year when he shot up like a foot in a half 
52. it took him until he was 18 to actually get used to his height and not trip over his own gangly limbs 
53. 6th year was the official “james potter is convinced he is john lennon” year. lily never admitted it but john lennon had always been her favorite beatle. 
54. he never seems to get cold?? it would be the middle of winter and he would be in hogsmeade with a light-weight robe on while everyone else had on like four layers of wool. 
55. he had a really bad habit of flipping his wand in his hand. most of the time it was fine, but one time he accidentally set a first year’s uniform on fire. 
56. james died with bloody knuckles, he may not have had his wand but he refused to die without a fight. 

askwhathasthiscometo:

Agony™ from Into The Woods but performed by James and Sirius.

its-hp-bitch:

Draco: I could kill you if I wanted to.

Harry: Yeah? So could Voldemort.

Harry: So could a human.

Harry: So could a really dedicated duck.

Harry: You aren’t special, buddy.

ineffable-hufflepuff:

Like way out in West Texas were there’s just nothing for hundreds of miles. Nothing but scrub and dry creek beds and maybe a bit of scraggly cedar here and there. 

And all the muggles just think it’s a cattle ranch or some shit. 

And the whole complex is set up like a series of ranch houses, low to the ground with all that mesquite wood and wrought iron. 

And they study chupacabras and jackalopes and have dragon wrangling. 

And they play Quodpot instead of quidditch, but a lot of the muggleborns still play football, because it’s god damn Texas. 

And yes, a lot of them do wear cowboy boots, because you think NORMAL rattlesnake bites are bad? Hell no, you are not wearing sneakers or dress shoes outside, you will fall into a cactus and get yerself stung by something ungodly and unnamable. 

And who the hell is going to wear a ROBE out there in the August 104 degree heat? No way. Jeans will do fine, we don’t gotta be fancy here. 

And there’s that one professor with the coyote tattoo that you swear watches you even when she’s distracted. 

And they have whole courses surrounding Apache magic native to the area using traditional ingredients for the Apache students.

And their house mascots are like, Armadillos and Scorpions and shit.