Gryffindor : you may think I’m super brave and daring but I am deathly afraid of the day my mother will learn all the shit I’ve pulled.
Ravenclaw : you may think I’m super smart and study a lot but the truth is I’m 72% bullshit and 28% random facts found on he internet.
Hufflepuff : you may think I am nice and caring but the truth is I’m so nice you can’t even see me preparing to kill you for hurting my friends.
Slytherin : you may think I am intimidating and dignified but I actually own underwear with glow-in-the-dark ghosts on it and I whisper “spoopy” every time I put them on.
In
2006, I was a college student at ASU. I lived in an off campus
apartment (on the ground floor) and it was a block off a major street
here in Phoenix called Baseline. These details are important.
In
the summer of 2006, Phoenix Arizona was plagued by two serial killers.
One was the “Phoenix Shooter” who ended up being a team of two guys
randomly shooting people, and the other was the “Baseline Killer,” a
rapist and murderer. Having two serial killers put the entire city on
edge, and everyone was talking about it. I even saw articles in Time or
Newsweek about the situation.
Don’t be afraid to be downright rude to someone who’s injecting themselves into your space. It could save your life if you’re not afraid to throw your weight around and tell someone off. TRUST YOURSELF!
You can still be a kind and generous person and still tell someone to fuck off.
Context:(This was from my first real session in DnD; I played a Paladin, High Elf) Halfway through exploring rocky cliff-sides and collecting weird mystical gems, our party came across a massive slab of cliff with a ledge. At the top we could hear possibly a necromancer chanting something at the top. So, two of our party members rolled high enough for stealth and climbed up…
DM (ic): Both [Paladin] and [Ranger] stealthily scale the cliff side, undetected by the assumed-necromancer. Whilst keeping yourselves hidden, you spot a large cloaked figure towering over a gall of carnivorous baby birds. It appears their mother had been slain, and the cloaked figure is attempting to command the younglings. What is it you do?
Paladin (ooc): I want to cast Command on the Necromancer… [Rolls: N20] …and I whisper for him to Approach.
DM (ic): Excellent, you override the hooded man’s chant and force him to approach you suddenly. As he approaches with a fit, the fledglings are left unattended, and… [Rolls: 18]
DM (ooc): Are you kidding me? Really? Ranger (ooc): What is it? What did the Paladin just do? DM (ooc): [Holds Head in Hands] …. Paladin (ooc): …. (:
DM (ic): [sigh] Against his will, the hooded man walks towards you… but is abrupt stopped when the sharp beak of one of the carnivorous birds pierces his spine. The other fledglings join in on the attack, and the mysterious man is brutal devoured by the hungry beasts! DM (ic):… all that remains are his tattered robes and a bright purple gem roped around his bloody, skeletal – once fleshy – throat.
Ranger (ic): [in shock] That was a bit much, even for you, [Paladin].
Paladin (ic): The word of the Gods knows no boundaries (: .
Ranger (ic): [Expressively Uncomfortable]
DM (ooc): This was supposed to be a demi-Boss Battle, you twit. DM (ooc): You single-handedly brought down a very powerful necromancer by will of a sINGLE W O R D. Paladin (ooc): …the word of the Gods’ is not to be trifled with, friend.
Girls pose by a jail that recalls the witch trials of 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts. Photo taken in 1945.
I recently learned that the water in Salem was contaminated with the fungus from which LSD is derived and a legitimate theory for the whole thing is that everyone in the town was tripping balls
This might be the greatest thing ive ever seen on the internet
We did a whole massive thing on this in history. I believe the fungus in question is called Ergot and it’s terrifying. It makes your muscles spasm so when they had seizures that was the reason, not because they were possessed. One woman had to be strapped to her bed, she was seizing so bad. And, like ‘theybuildbuildings’ said, it had the same effects as LSD; as soon as you touch it, let alone consume it, it messes with your entire system. The worst thing is, you practically always had a bad trip. Many complained about bugs crawling under their skin or monsters emerging from the shadows to scratch and bite at them until they were screaming. It was a horrendous thing and the worst part is, Ergot is still around. It grows on crops and, if your wheat isn’t properly treated, it can be eaten and you’ll most likely experience the same as the women of Salem.
god i love history
This is hella cool and almost correct…
The effects on the people of Salem were probably from consuming bread with the fungus in it, not from contaminated water. And apparently rye is way more commonly affected than wheat. In fact, often the members of the clergy were able to afford nicer bread made from wheat and thus were not as commonly affected.
You don’t go on a spasm-y trip just by touching it. You have to consume it for weeks, which results in chronic poisoning. ( If you stop eating it early enough, you may recover. So when people suffering from these “demonic possessions” took refuge in churches and stopped eating low-grade rye bread they were sometimes miraculously healed.
More interesting facts:
Ergot poisoning can result in convulsions & hallucinations, or it can cause gangrene, depending on which group of active alkaloids are present. (Horrifying, either way.) It killed a lot of people in Europe in the Middle Ages.
In Europe, often there was a strong correlation between wet summers (which provide ideal conditions for ergot) and reports of witchcraft/ possession. And in Norway and Scotland, records of witch persecution are only found in areas where rye was grown and used to make bread.
And I just learned right now that one author dude translated the word “Beowulf” as “barley-wolf” which could indicate a connection to ergot. The LSD-like effects could be a valid explanation for stories of Old Norse warriors going into the a sort of trancelike battle rage.
(this is exactly the kind of stuff my herbology medicinal plants class is about, it’s so cool omfg. we had a lecture on ergot last week.)