“God, please, just kill me, I can’t do this, it hurts, please, it hurts so much-”
“Hang on,” the hero pleaded through gritted teeth. They readjusted the villain in their arms, winced as the villain cried out at the jolt. “You can do it, I know you can-”
“You don’t know anything about me,” the villain spat, some of their old fire returning before a fresh bout of agony overtook them. “Never…took you for cruel- oh god oh god it’s back it hurts so much pleasepleaseplease I’m begging you, please-”
The hero was supposed to be a good person, but they waited until their villain was in the throes of agony before confessing. “I can’t kill you, because I love you,” they murmured. “I can’t- can’t bear to go on without you, so you’re just going to have to hang on until we can get help, alright? Just hang on.”
There was a long, aching, rasp-filled pause before the villain cracked one eye open. “You fucking what?!”
My half-orc barbarian was fighting her arch nemesis in a cathedral and I was still salty about this monster sparta-kicking me off a cliff. Out of sheer spite, I managed to stab her great-axe – yes, STAB her GREAT-AXE – halfway through this monster.
DM: Alright, (barbarian), we are back on you. How would you like to proceed?
Me (ooc): I want its spine.
DM: I’m sorry?
Me: I. Want. Its. Spine.
I proceed to roll a nat 17 and stab the great-axe straight through the monster, severing its spine and killing it. The DM fears me now.
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