Hey, I’ve been feeling really self conscious lately because I think I’m fat and the people that get crushes on I think don’t like me because of my loud personality. I was hoping that you could boost my confidence in some way.

asktheboywholived:

(( OOC: I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way dearie. This is the hard thing about confidence though… gaining it is entirely in your court. 

I have a lot of loved ones that are what most people would call “stereotypically” beautiful. They’re the kind of people you’d see on a magazine cover. They’re the kind that never seem to be able to take a bad picture. They’re the kind that people stop in their tracks to stare at.  

They have people telling them, constantly, how beautiful they are… but that doesn’t mean they are confident. 

Many of them have some of the worst lows, and moments of self-loathing, I’ve ever seen.

No one can tell you anything that will make you feel confident in yourself. No one convince you to see what you can’t see yourself. 

I have a lot of people asking me if the amount of people that send me compliments makes me feel better about myself, and while it’s true that it’s nice to hear that people like the way I look, it doesn’t mean that it keeps me from feeling insecure. 

My confidence came from me working through my own issues, and deciding to maintain a positive thought process when thinking about myself… and that doesn’t mean I’m confident all the time. I have to work at it.  

“Confidence” is nothing more than choosing to see the good, and creating habits based around positive reinforcement. 

If you look in the mirror and do nothing but pick out your flaws, then that’s all you will see. If you look in the mirror and make a habit of picking out the aspects of yourself that you like, then you will start to gain confidence in yourself. It’s a process, but it will become second nature the more you do it. 

If someone tells you they don’t like something about the way you look, then it’s okay to feel hurt… but after that, tell yourself that it’s fine, that not everyone has the same preferences, and move on. 

Also, “beauty” according to social standards, is fleeting. What will you have to be confident over when you are no longer considered “young”? 

I honestly feel that gaining confidence in your abilities and your personality is far more important in the long run, because that’s something that you can continue to grow, improve and enjoy. 

We are ever-changing beings… we don’t have to stay the same. If there’s a personality trait that you don’t love, something that keeps you from connecting to others, or something you want to change, then do it! That’s not being insincere or untrue to yourself, that’s part of growing. 

Don’t make excuses for poor behavior or weaknesses, just work to improve them and allow yourself to become better. 

Confidence is nothing more than a mindset, and it starts and ends with you. ))