A Cleric, a Rogue, and a Fighter Walk Into a Marketplace….

yourplayersaidwhat:

So my party (all lvl 5) is in a town comprised of about half Vampires, half Lycans, and with a large number of demons, devils, and other generally nasty critters coming to trade in the Black Market. I am a Dragonborn Cleric, Life Domain (Elmassus). Every single person in this town is taking an instant dislike to me. With me at the time are our Halfling Rogue (Foxglove) and Human Eldritch Knight (Ryoma).

DM: You make your way through the marketplace.

R: I am in heaven. Best town ever.

E: Yeah, sure. I pull my hood up to avoid attention.

DM: Roll for Stealth.

E: Ugh. *rolls* 2 + 2 – 2 is…. 2.

DM: You attempt to pull up your hood, but accidentally drop your Holy Symbol right in front of a large group of assorted Demons, Pit Fiends, and Bone Walkers.

E: Shit.

R: I step in, grab Elmassus, and yell “Stop dropping things and get back to work!” at Elmassus.

DM: Roll for Persuasion.

R: *rolls* 2.

DM: You attempt to pick up the Holy Symbol but drop it again. The entire crowd is now staring at you, Elmassus.

FG: I grab the Holy Symbol and dare any of these sons of bitches to make a move.

DM: Roll Intimidation. With Disadvantage. You’re tiny.

FG: *sharp laugh* Nat 1.

DM: A Pit Fiend walks right up to you, Elmassus. Eyes a cage behind you. Foxglove, he thinks you’re cute.

FG: I draw my knife.

E: Please don’t! I pick up the symbol and apologize, hands in the air, just let’s get out of here. “I am very sorry.”

DM: The Pit Fiend grabs you by the collar.

E: (OOC) Do I have a chance of breaking his grip?

DM: His hand is as big as you.

E: I’m 6 foot. His hand is 6 foot?

DM: Yes.

E: Holy shit.

FG: I roll to cut off his hand with my knife.

E: Please don’t!

DM: Roll for Attack.

FG: *facepalm* 2.

DM: Foxglove, he snaps your little dagger in half with his fingers. He thinks it’s funny.

FG: Fuck this shit, ima kill this motherfucker.

R: (OOC) What level is this thing?

DM: Level 20.

E: Foxglove! Please…!

Long story short; Foxglove got a broken arm, Ryoma got sold into slavery, and our entire party nearly met death. All because of a stupid hood. Lesson learned; no more stealth checks for me.