Wait, how does that spell work?

yourplayersaidwhat:

Bit of back story, we are on a quest to stop an evil Egyptian got from returning to the mortal realm, on dnd5e. We have just snuck through a cave into the evil city, and need a distraction. These are our heros: half orc druid Thurr, high elf Palladian couple Hafsa and Cyro, half drow wizard Marty’s, and an 8 foot tall dragonborn fighter/pali Elaina. We are playing on roll20 and discord.

Thurr: I cast charm person on the fire over there.

Dm: he makes the save and looks around confused.

Thurr: I cast it again.

Dm, with a slight sigh: you have bombarded him with so many signals that the second time is the charm. You begin him over and he comes along with a smile.

Thurr, ic: you know but boss man in the tent over there? We want to play a prank on him will you go start a fire somewhere to cause a distraction so we can get in?

Dm: roll persuasion.

Thurr, with a -1 charisma: oh boy, 18.

Dm, with a slightly more audible sigh: he looks confused at first, then his face lights up. Not even the dragonborn gets this excited to start a fire. You have just created a pyromaniac.

Chaos ensues and we sneak into the big boss’s base.

Elaine, ic: can you root him to the spot, Thurr?

Thurr, ic: no, I didn’t prepare that spe- wait, I got one better.

Thurr: I cast hold person.

Dm, sighing: he rolled a 1. You got him.

Elaina: I swing my blade twice (I have multi attack) and use action surge, and swing twice more.

Thurr: now, because you are attacking him within 5 feet, you have advantage, and all hits count as a crit.

( https://5etools.com/spells.html#hold%20person_phb )

Elaina: What?

Dm: What?

Rest of the party: What?

Thurr: yeah.

Dm: why must you break my things?

Elaina: I haven’t even rolled damage yet.

-12 d6 later-

Elaina: 130 damage?

Rest of the party: DAMN

Dm, in defeat: he is dead.

And that’s the story about how we created a pyromaniac and turned a bad guy into gore in 6 seconds.