D&D Session Complete

knotthebrave:

sirussly:

sirussly:

pighmypuff:

Highlights:

• Jess literally bending the basic laws of probability and science (seriously dude, throw those dice away)
• “I just want to talk to my friends”
• It’s… Elven Family Wine sweetie… that’s the brand…
• Strawberry Fizz (And my list of 100 different types of drinks… I’m gonna burn through it so fast I can feel it)
• “Man, Dave’s gonna flip when he hears I saw you!”
• Mimi
• Tony the Tiger is a chaotic neutral merchant flirting with the already inflated-ego elf
• Toffee Apple confusion

Thanks for a fun session @vagueenthusiast @seriouslyprongs @sirussly @asklilyluna @curly-haired-wizard

Additionally:

• “Oh, it’s blood wine” –cHOKES
• “She hands your drink to you in a sippy cup.”
• “Your dad… he’s–?” “nOPE NOPE–” “–GREG, RIGHT?” *crickets*
• Rolling a nat 1 every time I tried to play the bard’s instruments.
• “You hear quiet booing through the wall”
• “THAT MEANT FUCK YOU IN PENNY WHISTLE!”
• “I stealth roll into a clothing rack.”
• MIMIIIII
• “His hands are covered in orange fur…” “It’s Tony the Tiger–” “…and he has a giant tiger’s head.”
• “It’s why there are no libraries here.” *PTERODACTYL SCREECH*
• So many tiny backstory snippets don’t you think I didn’t notice guys.
• Low key getting a tour of Alice’s house which has the cutest floral wallpaper ever.
  
• Tam and Val dancing with the tiny children oh my lord.
• “Of course I bought it for you. Green is your colour.”

tl:dr the disaster boat friends™ are just as tragic on land as they are sea and I am so here for it. 

Jules and I just remembered this other gem:

• jule’s angsty emo elf: *snaps fingers* WENCH
• terrifying scottish barmaid: *head snaps round*
• my socially-awkward ray of sunshine: ohmyfuck– BENCH. DO YOU HAVE A BENCH?
• barmaid: ……..you’re sitting on one.
• me: oh well would you FANCY THAT thank you very much also we’d like to order some drinks please and thank you

guys we gotta start writing these down as they happen

One more thing:

• jules’ elf angst lord: i just get up and leave
• jess: i grab him by the cloak and yank him down
• me: roll a strength check
• jess: …natural one
• me: …you go to grab his cloak, but your fingers just miss the fabric and you faceplant onto the tavern floor.