sixpenceee:

betaraybitch:

sixpenceee:

pineapplebunnies:

sixpenceee:

menshouldbelikekleenex:

sixpenceee:

programmedtoexterminate:

sixpenceee:

xlosingsanityx:

sixpenceee:

There are more ways to make your heart drop than just scary. I’ll start with some I’ve heard over time and you guys reblog with your own. Remember to credit the original author if it’s not your own.

• The smallest coffins are often the heaviest (by TheWolfOfWalmart)
• According to the coroner’s report, he had almost untied the noose. (by lokiago)
• “Wrong number” says a familiar voice (by bailiff)
• For sale: baby shoes, never worn (by Ernest Hemingway)
• He bottle feeds his wife’s killer (by charmingmysterious)
• Brought roses home, keys didn’t fit (by shallowblue)

There was only one date on her gravestone.

Sorry solder, shoes only come in pairs. 

There were two big nooses and one tiny one.

Passengers this isn’t your captain speaking 

I opened the door expecting him, but got a flag instead

“So you and I are?” …. “Pronouns?”

She was three when she found out her parents weren’t immortal

Stephen King’s suicide note wins Pulitzer 

She thought survivor meant never having to go through it again.

I read this somewhere in the reblogs but I can’t find it 

“Happy Father’s Day” she said to her rapist