muirin007:

Dear Harry,

How’re things? Hope Ron and Hermione are well. I hear Gryffindor won the last Quidditch match against Slytherin. And that someone nearly knocked Lucius Malfoy’s prancing son off his broom while catching the snitch. Great work, kid. James would be so proud.

My godfatherly duties compel me to make sure you’re finishing your homework and all that rubbish but honestly, just try not to get yourself killed or piss off McGonagall, and we’ll call it a day, yeah?

Glad you like the photos I sent you. In case you were wondering, the third one in the pile was from your dad’s bachelor party; pole dancing isn’t normally my thing but it was a dare and I pocketed about fifteen galleons that night and impressed one of the muggle waitresses, so it was worth it.

Can’t tell you exactly where I am at the moment for obvious reasons but it’s a hell of a lot better than that cave; I haven’t resorted to eating rats for at least two weeks. And glory, glory, hallelujah, this place has indoor plumbing.

I’ve been keeping quiet, mostly as Snuffles, but I did nick an iPhone off a bus stop bench a few weeks back and it’s full of mildly interesting useless shit that wastes your time, which is something. And it’s got a camera, which is also something. You’re probably familiar with muggle video cameras, but I’d never seen one myself–dementors aren’t the best cinematographers.

Accidentally got too ahead of myself and used up all the “memory” after I left the thing running. I’ve heard you can delete “files” but I’ve tried every spell in the book and the closest I got was making a photo I’d taken of some floorboards quack and momentarily disappear. Did manage to shoot this, though.

Don’t worry; no one knew I’d broken into the house. They won’t miss their pound of frozen chicken; they had three more and now I’m set for a few days. And I doubt they’ll notice one pair of missing socks. Couldn’t help myself; they’re some sort of fluffy cotton. An obnoxious shade of orange, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Talk soon. Stay cool, kid,

Sirius