I wish Charlie had known

panlight:

Charlie knowing about vampires all along just has so much potential. It’s such a waste that he’s so clueless. 

I mean look how readily Jacob blabbed about the Quileute secrets to Bella, whom he only knew vaguely from his childhood. Am I really supposed to believe that young Harry and Billy didn’t try to impress/scare Charlie with those same stories when they were growing up? Maybe he even heard the story about the golden-eyed vampires who promised not to bite humans? It seems obvious to me that Charlie would have heard these legends even though he obviously would have thought they were just myth. 

And then he’s a COP. And the Cullens’ cover story is so weird that you’d think Charlie would at least be a little curious about it. He likes Dr. Cullen and thinks having him in town is great, but it’s weird he’s so young–and yet so accomplished–and has all these adopted/foster kids? Why is the deer population suddenly under control when it had been exploding in recent years? Why won’t Billy let anyone from La Push go to the hospital? Bella “fell down a flight of stairs and out a window”, but what’s with that weird bite mark scar on her hand?

So he figures out what’s going on but since he thinks having a great doctor is good for the town, and none of the kids are causing any trouble, he lets it go and even maybe smooths things over when other people ask questions. “Why did no one call Child Protective Services on the Cullens?” Maybe they did, and Charlie, understanding on some level that these ‘kids’ weren’t really ‘kids,’ quietly handled it. 

I mean, why else make him a cop? He could have had so many other jobs that kept him out of the house a lot that didn’t make his cluelessness seem so weird. In unobservant mechanic or city councilor or librarian or hospital security guard wouldn’t be as strange as a clueless chief of police! 

Just imagine BD with Charlie kind of having figured this out.  So Jacob phases and Charlie’s like, “Didn’t know wolves came in red.” 

He goes to the house to see Bella. “So he finally bit you, huh? Glad you guys waited until you were hitched, at least.”

And then he takes Carlisle aside and gives him some tips about his cover story next time. “Look, I know you guys are trying, but any cop worth his salt in the next town you move to will sense there is something suspicious going on in a minute.”