i. I used to hate you. I used to think it was your fault she ran away from me, but I guess I can never blame the sky if she didn’t want to be with the summer girl anymore and fell in love with rain instead. Maybe summer was too hot we scorched into ashes, and you were rain who cooled her down and made the ashes grow flowers again.
ii. She told me once that she liked me the first time we met. I wonder, was it the same for you? Did your eyes captivate her the first time she looked at you? Or was it only after she left me? I keep on thinking it happened somewhere in between, like the unexpected drizzle in May, but it doesn’t matter anymore for now her skies are clear and your eyes are the only stars she can see. On some days I imagine us as identical stars and that it is the reason she fell for you fast, that your eyes show my reflection and it is still I she sees in you. Does she tell stories about me? Do you hear me when she says the words she learned from me? On most days, though, I know the truth–I’m only rock that briefly passed through her sky and she had mistaken me for a wishing star. But a rock cannot grant her wishes.
iii. You are able to love her in many ways I will never be able to, and for that I envy you. I want to tell you how to love her, where she likes to be kissed or what spot in her back makes her weak, what gifts make her smile or what words would make her cry like a preschool girl–just like how many letters have been written by ex-lovers to the new ones instructing them how to love their lovers. I cannot do that, though. I wasn’t even able to love her properly when I had my chance, so who am I to tell you? Just keep on loving her the way you know how and most importantly, the way she deserves to be.
iv. When I first heard the gossip about you, somehow I already knew. I had practiced my response and rehearsed my lines for the confirmation of the news, but when I saw you together for the first time I forgot everything I prepared for. I wasn’t ready to see how she looked at you–the same look she used to give me–and I knew, at that moment, she was already in love with you and there is nothing else that could stop her. I can still picture that moment until now.
v. Please be “the one” for her. She used to tell her friends I was “the one” but it turned out I wasn’t. Please do not hurt her the way I did because if you do, I might never be able to forgive you just as I have never forgiven myself. I hope her skies never be heavy again.